After watching “Megamind” recently, I concluded that I prefer the old Disney cartoon classics to Pixar generated ones, especially those spiced with romance. Even though they are two dimensional, there is something about the timeless quality of their plots and music that appeal to my soul. The enduring character of the love of Capt John Smith and Pocahontas, Ariel-the little mermaid and her Prince, Belle-the beauty and her Beasty beau, heats up my being like burning logs on a wintry morning in the Arctic and make my heart as snug as a princess sleeping on an eiderdown filled mattress.

On the other hand apart from probably “Seven” or the odd exception, I really don’t like movies, books or anything that has to do with serial killers. The gruesomeness of the murdering spree usually puts me off no end.

I am sure you are beginning to wonder why I seem to be mentioning Jack the Ripper and Cinderella in the same breath. Yeah, I know the horror attached to the first name makes the comeliness of the “they lived happily ever after” of the other shatter like crystal.

But as distasteful as the combination might be, that has been the reality buzzing around Lagos like the drone of angry hornets in the last few weeks. The city has been agog with the news of the guy that sliced and diced his wife after two years of marriage. Our airspace has been filled with outrage and vats of boiling anger have been poured on the guilty party. Thing is the lady might eventually be canonized because her death has opened a can of worms concerning the marriage institution. The incident revealed that a lot of ladies go through physical and emotional torment almost every day of their lives and men are not exempted too.

I saw the wedding pictures of the couple in question and could not understand the short and sudden leap from the genre of romance to that of murder. It was a mystery that would have Sherlock Holmes stumped and the luridness of it would send the hounds of Baskerville to flight in fright.

Certainly, along the line an evil mutation had taken place that ought to be brought to the light of recognition. Unlike this society where problems are tackled by hacking away at the leaves and branches with vehemence instead of attacking the roots, I decided to get to the bottom of this thing by digging out some answers.

My quest egged me on like an Arthurian Knight looking for the Holy Grail. I finally had to borrow the Tardis from Dr. Who and travel down the corridors of the past to the pages of Genesis where it all began.

I got to lush Eden, so verdant in its beauty that I gasped for breath and saw Adam, fine looking hunk that he is, all alone. He had the companionship of an assortment of animals but none of them made his heart tick. After frolicking with the animals all day, he went back to a cold bed of leaves under a tree shade with no one to talk to after each day’s hard work. Finally heaving a sign of aching heaviness, he turned his gaze to the trunk of the woody perennial and slept off. Same story, day after day, night after night until God intervened and put him into a deep sleep. Mind you, it was not stupor derived from restless romantic lethargy, neither was it a sexual fantasy filled slumber or a dreamy haze of infatuation. It was a deep sleep of connection with God, a somnolence of relaxation while God worked out things for his destiny.

What struck me here is the fact that this bro was patient and not in a frenzied state of hitching up with any animal that had breath because he was alone. His canniness in waiting for the opportune time and right woman was amazing. It hit me that this is the point at which most of the problems of the ring begin.  Life has it that many people (especially ladies) in the frenzy and haste of getting out of the alone state end up marrying beasts. They hitch their lives to soulless animals- feral cats that tear their hearts to shreds, poisonous snakes that poison their self esteem, electric eels that shock the light out of their destiny and the list goes on.  Adam did not make this mistake because there was a peaceful calm about him, a serenity that made him partner with God unto the unveiling of a lifetime companion. The man had enough will to have made his pick before his creator got on the scene but he waited patiently like a cat expecting the choice cream instead of feasting on soured milk.

By the time the operation was over, God did not need to introduce Eve. Adam instinctively knew and was cock sure she was his helpmeet. There was no second guessing, no attempt to just make do with what was presented to him. She was it, a part of him, an extension of his person, a soul companion, not just a bearing mate, bed mate or cooking mate. This was his life mate, the one for whom his heart stopped beating, the first lady rocked his world! Something exploded in his brain and ran all the way down to his toes. Where had she been all his life? He said she was the bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. This heavenly, yet earthly being was made from the hardiest part of him; she was his flesh, the sensitive part of him. This was nothing to be trifled about. She wowed him and he called her Woman (Wow-man). The man exhaled, finally, at last, the search was over, the wait had ended. The studious hunt had come to a screeching stop. There was a right feeling to it like a coin dropping into a till. The inference is if your wow-person doesn’t make you exhale, you might need to have a rethink before the vows, because the expedition might still be on.

There was a fierce certainty to Adam’s decision, he did not go into the tie, wondering whether she was the right one or not, the question on his mind was not whether it was going to work or not. He did not gamble because he knew the stakes were much higher than losing millions in a Vegas casino, instead it would be akin to a Russian roulette with a shot gun.

They were connected, naked and not ashamed and could share everything and anything. This opened my eyes to where we miss it big time, when we hide secrets, thinking the truth would make our partner drop us like a maggot- infested fruit. The truth eventually surfaces like a submerged dolphin coming up for air causing the relationSHIP to capsize and drown. Your true love will accept you as you are, irrespective of your past, looks, class, size, height, bank account, tribe name it.

(Adam also did not believe in-laws interference either, it was made known that after Eve showed on the scene, that a man would leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. In-laws interfere with the cleaving process).

It was all magical and romantic thereafter until disaster struck; Eve messed up and made her husband lose it all. She brought him down from the top of the food chain to the bottom where he was now terrorized by microbes and bugged by mosquitoes. His career went down hill, everything collapsed like a card house in the path of a raging typhoon but the guy held on to his wife. He did not divorce her, he could not divorce her, he had named her (what do you call your lady Bro?) the bond was too strong, the tie was too tight and together they weathered the storm. Out of the sustained union came the seed that turned everything around positively. The marriage survived because Adam made the right choice. Choice is the foundation of any marriage. It is the similarity between the laws of evolution and marriage. In the case of the first, it is by natural selection, whereas for the second, SURVIVAL DEPENDS ON SPIRITUAL SELECTION!!!

When I say spiritual selection, I am talking about a making the choice of a life partner based on a deep compatibility connection, a connection that is above good looks, star status, vital statistics, bulging bank accounts, ethnicity, good sex and so on. Adam did not even sleep with this being that made him doe-eyed with wonder before his decision, yet he knew she was exceptionally wondrous. Most factors for our selection are as flimsy as an arachnid’s spun fabric. A deep soul connection based on God, personality, values, purpose, belief and faith is as strong and as lasting as the Everest. This is the secret to survival. (I noticed the unison in their lives, elucidating that the two had become one flesh. Their partnership was evident; Eve did not own all the baobabs in Eden, while her husband claimed all the Cedars. They were a connubial consortium).

My next stop was Galilee, a large rocky region in Northern Israel with vast fields of greenery and colorful wild flowers. I alighted in a place called Cana where there was a jubilant atmosphere, Jewish musical instruments filled the air with pure golden tunes. A rollicking party was going on, it was a wedding.

I joined in the festivity and blended with the cavorting crowd. With time, I noticed trouble was brewing, the wine had run out. (One of the reasons the wine ran out was because there were too many folks relative to the amount of wine; the fellowship of the ring runs into trouble when too many people are allowed into its hallowed circle).

Even when the ring selection was right on the mark like Robin Hood’s arrow, this happens to the best of us. The wine runs out without notification, creeps up on us like a cat burglar.

Wine signifies joy, heady euphoria, extravagant love, hot affection, intoxication and inebriation. That is why it is written, ‘kiss me with the kisses of thy mouth for thy love is better than wine. A kiss expressed from the heart of a kisser whose love is better than wine, will be rapturous for the ‘kissee”. She will be transported beyond the Milky Way without a space shuttle. But thing is with the passage of time, the roaring flames of love in the hearth of our heart burns down to glowing embers. Our heart becomes cold with having kids, loss of the battle of the bulge, work in bucketfuls and the quest for more money snapping at our heels like rabid dogs. The bedroom loses it steam, the kiss acquires the taste of vinegar and we begin to just go through the motions.

It was evident there was a lot of water at the event but no wine. Water is essential to live but does not rejoice the heart like wine. This is the phase where things become perfunctory, the marriage becomes routine without any excitement. We land from the magic carpet ride of Aladdin to the hard earth with a hard bump. The world is not shinning, shimmering and splendid anymore, all becomes dry and dull! The lady suddenly stops feeling like Jasmine and goes back to the chimney sweep status of Cinderella before her transformation.

Then Jesus came on the scene and turned the water into wine. This could be said to be “magical”. The routine became tinged with excitement, enthusiasm, delight, elation. After the fall, Adam still had this “magical” moment with his bride. The Holy Writ said that he knew his wife. That knowing was more than a wham, bam, thank you ma’am thing. There was deep connection to it coupled with an explosion of pleasure. A good portion of the time, it is the search of this magic, which causes the straying outside our nuptial confines.

(Jesus was at the wedding because of his mom. The kind of people we bring into the ring’s circle can determine the success of the marital koinonia. People never come alone; they usually bring something or someone with them).

The wedding ceremony was salvaged from the doldrums and the latter wine was better than the first. The norm was that the wine diminishes in quality as the ceremony progresses but Jesus turned that around by furnishing better wine. I believe he was passing across a message that the fellowship of the ring should be vintage. It ought to get better with time.

A marriage that has become boring but essential like water needs some zing because it is at this point sthat the shadow of the Balrog threatens to drown us in the blanketing thickness of heavy darkness. Here the union desperately needs some “magic”. Whip out your wand and like Gandalf, cast a love spell, telling the bugger to go back to the shadows, that it will not pass.

Are you still single? If you are, the GENESIS of your journey should be based on a spiritual selection. Are you married? After a spiritual selection, “MAGIC” sustains the FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING! Convert the ordinary into extraordinary. Do some new things. Get out your wand and zap some colors into your matrimonial climate.


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