I absolutely love romance! Oh, the sheer magic of it! I wonder about my love for it sometimes since it’s gotten me a lot of flak from the wife recently for allowing the madness of Lagos to dry up my creative juices. But there is no denying that it is so beautiful and heartwarming. Anytime I remember Sabrina being serenaded by the musical group hired by Jason before he proposed in “jumping the broom” a sweet incandescent fire lights up within my heart and gently spreads through every fiber of my being. I can watch that scene a gazillion times. What about great romantic stories woven around it like that of Cupid and Psyche, totally engrossing! I guess if I were an ancient Greek heathen, I would have bred swans in honor of Aphrodite, the mother of Eros (Cupid), the Greek god of romantic love and desire.

All the fallout of amour is attributed to this brother. Rains of kisses, drizzle of chocolates, lines of poetry, forests of roses, the rollercoaster high of it all. This guy sure is something (anyone that controls romance certainly is for me). A sip from his pool will beat any drink that Bacchus brews any day. I like the dude. Of course I sought his friendship and made him my pal.

Unfortunately as I got to know him better, our friendship started going awry. I am not the kind of guy that gets unnecessarily carried away. As I observed his ways, I noticed there was something wrong with his magic. It lacked the kind of potency I sought for. The relationships he created petered out like a rivulet of water in the desert. They had the lasting power of tapestries woven in the loom of an arachnid. I wanted more, I want something that will last forever, something that will make me live happily ever after.

In all honesty, I love his imagination, he waves a wand over a bloke and the Romeo gets the idea to propose to his Juliet in a glassy submarine swimming in the guts of an ocean while guppies and marlin gaze on in bright eyed wonder and sea anemones clap their colourful tentacles in ceaseless amazement. The whole arena is lit by floating water resistant bulbs in the shape of oyster shells and quietly in the background Kenny G in conjunction with Chante Moore masterfully mixes the windy enchantment of the sax with sugared throaty tones producing a cocktail of delightful music. The whole experience is spellbinding. But a few months down the line, the two are deeply immersed in a messy altercation/divorce. Something is certainly wrong here and that is my grouse with Mr. Eros. Love should be forever, endless, eternal.

During Valentine season when Mr. Eros is mostly venerated, there is enough romance in the atmosphere to make Shakespeare speechless but paradoxically, the cauldrons of mother earth froth over with implacable hatred. It’s a befuddling occurrence, a shameful sham. Check out my earlier post VALENTINE BLUES .

Princess D had it all, castles, princes, flowers and horses, but I can almost wager she died of a broken heart. There is sure a missing link, a lost piece in Mr. Eros romantic puzzle.

During my ruminations, I met another fellow, who is not as glamorous but there was something about his own ways that appealed to me. His name is Agape and he is the custodian for charitable love, the God kind of love.  His kind of love is committed and practical. His love is the real deal. It is not fleeting, IT’S ETERNAL!!! This was the kind of love that made Jesus love and die for humanity even with all our depravity.

When push comes to shove, Eros gives way but as unexciting and as unglamorous Agape might seem to be, it is stronger than death. While Eros only lasts when the going is good, Agape goes the whole hog. Eros makes the mistake of being carried away by the zephyr of romance and does not bother to see the face behind the bouquet of flowers not knowing if it is a beast that would smack its chops while feasting on the raw pieces of one’s heart. Agape sees everything, warts and all and still decides to love deliberately, intentionally and unconditionally. Some I know say “ if you love me, love my fart”, that is Agape for you (for God commendeth his love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us). Agape would keep loving until the Beast turns into a lovable prince.

Agape believes the best, when your partner forgets to get a gift on a memorable day, it would make excuses but Eros would fight like a wounded boar until someone is left bleeding or hurting. He would charge like a bull in a china shop until emotions have been destroyed like delicate crystal. Eros can be merciless, Agape is merciful.

Eros is mostly self centered, he would saturate you with champagne, forget-me-nots and earrings made from lapis lazuli for sex or for the security he gets from being around you or for your money or because his esteem gets pumped up when he becomes the cynosure of all eyes as both of you walk into a restaurant (selfish bugger that he is). In contrast Agape is selfless, he would carry a cross; go through any kind of pain for his beloved.

Eros insides are darkened with bile, he would continually wave score cards of how you did not do this and how you did not do that, he never lets go of a grudge but Agape never keeps scores.

I am not saying romantic love is bad but it’s like the spice that adds flavor to a dish. It’s not the main dish and no one can live on spices. We need real meals to survive. Charitable love is the real dish, the main course and it is only through it that relationships can survive. Of course when the spices are added it makes the meal more delectable.

I think it is sheer folly and madness to build the foundation of our relationships solely on Cupid, a blindfolded cherubic baby who flys about shooting arrows at random.

For true love to flourish, we have to allow God flow through our hearts… FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAS BEEN SHED ABROAD IN OUR HEARTS BY HIS HOLY SPIRIT…….

In a world where everything is crumbling with failing systems, we need the COMMITTED pillars of Agape. Eros will always come short of the mark despite the fact that Cupid has been shooting his arrows since time immemorial. He still can’t hit the bull’s eye of our hearts no matter how much he tries. All his shots are like the occasional high induced by drugs but…..



12 thoughts on “EROS’ ERRORS!

  1. Love,true love,could it be understood would galvanise the world.Agape is the 'love' that stands the test of time.Romantic love is for a season only.Unless romantic love metamorphoses into agape over time the divorce rate worldwide will continue to spiral upwards.


  2. Awwww, I love love this. I like the angle you came in from, the writing style and all. I am definitely reblogging this, I hope you do not mind.

    This sums it up for me

    “..It’s not the main dish and no one can live on spices. We all need real meals to survive.”


  3. This was a lovely post. I love the way your mind works, it reflects in your writing.
    This totally summed it for me
    “I am not saying romantic love is bad but it’s like the spice that adds flavor to a dish. It’s not the main dish and no one can live on spices. We need real meals to survive. Charitable love is the real dish, the main course and it is only through it that relationships can survive. Of course when the spices are added it makes the meal more delectable.”

    Give me agape anytime…Add on eros to spice it but agape is the maindish, we can do without the appetisers and desserts and live quite healthily and quite satisfactorily too. God bless you!


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