I do not need anyone to tell me that life is good, like I didn’t know that. Even in a world that is as tumultuous as a choppy windswept sea, I obviously know that truth. Everyday in the midst of the madness of the world, life is like a picturesque slideshow of good things that make one burst out in rippling smiles of contentment and gratitude. A baby gurgling happily while nestling its head on a shoulder, walking into the embrace of a chilled air-conditioned atmosphere after getting punch-drunk by the sun at its pugilistic best, feeling the wind kiss away sweat while riding on an “okada” in the afternoon breeze after a hot meal of “amala, gbegiri ati ewedu” topped with fresh “eja kika”, downing a cool glass of Chivita’s exotic orange juice, seeing Jeff Hardy perfectly execute the “whisper in the wind”, watching Lionel Messi score against Real Madrid, reading a great book on a cool evening entombed by the walls of silence, watching a great movie while everyone has gone to bed, getting home to meet my boy shouting “my guy” as he runs into my arms, finding peace in the embrace of my wife , laughing deliriously at a good joke, flipping through the frozen memories of loved ones , watching a beautiful butterfly flutter by, being roused to a beautiful dawn by the choruses of birds, taking a hot shower after a gruelling days work and so on. Life is indeed good and I am eternally grateful to the One who gives us all things to enjoy. He is good and does good!
So, LG, Puhleez, don’t give me that “life is good” hogwash. . LIFE IS GOOD BUT CERTAINLY NOT WITH LG!!! How can you tell me that life is good when we have gone through a hellish existence in the last few weeks because we brought a brand new freezer from you? How can you purport those lines when your outlet in Okota told us that freezer’s doors don’t lock firmly anymore according to the new designs you are rolling out after the freezer had stayed with them for more than a fortnight. How can your smiley keep deceiving the world with its smarmy phony smile that says all is well when the technician from your head office in Burma Road confesses to the fact that the FAULT is a DEFAULT one from your factory? I am surprised that the staff at your head office could glibly lie that you don’t know anything about your outlets, if their statement is true; it even makes your situation more pathetic. LG, I am amazed at your temerity in flooding the world with your logo and slogan when you did not even assist to help us move your defective product from our home to your offices. Which Multinational worth its salt turns its customers into beasts of burden instead of making them kings? What about the hours used for the transportation and making calls. Are we going to be paid back for the time and money spent making calls? It is depressingly sad LG, that you do not have any inkling that time is money. What happened to integrity and honour? Oh, I forgot, it is the Japanese that are specialists on Bushido and Kaizen while you don’t know diddly squat about them. To show how lackadaisical you are, you did not even bother to rectify the problem after we warned your staff of the dangers of messing up in the 21st century with social media and all because I was going to tell the world about how phony your brand is. You must have assumed that I only have a stone but must I remind you that it is stones that bring down giants. You must have felt with the mix of horrendous traffic, PHCN relentless blackouts, horrible roads and the rigours of transporting the freezer from one of your outlet to another, we would not be persistent enough to keep asking you to right your wrong but I have decided to sing like a canary and assume the voice of every Nigerian who at one time or another has being the victim of terrible customer service.
Why do I feel that you would not have carried out your dastardly act with so much impunity if you were in any other part of world? But since the Standard Organization of Nigeria and Consumer Protection Agency are slumbering, you can afford to ship and slip in defective products with aplomb, then dump it into the laps of unsuspecting citizens. I feel you would not have done this in some other countries but you have been corrupted by the Nigerians that own your outlets like the one in Okota, Isolo. I cannot believe you are that impressionable, allowing the bad customer service which is a norm here to infect you. Since you supposed to be a world class brand, I am sure you would not believe you’ve been besieged by “enemies” when things start going south for you due to your poor customer service like my people do (they then proceed on a marathon of meaningless praying and fasting, not knowing that the cankerworm eating the shrub is on the shrub). It just makes sense that when you are more interested in the money of your customers than the value/quality of service you offer, it is only a matter of time before you come tumbling down the hill like Jack and Jill. You will also lose the crown of your marketing advantage in the process. As much as I am livid with you, let me give you a good advice, run back to your country before the cancer of this place eats you up. Business flourishes when you really love your clients, but here it is done in a loveless and selfish atmosphere and you have already caught the bug.
LG, I hope you will give me a brand new freezer now and compensate me for all the stress, time and money wasted because of your ineptitude. I am amazed that you do not know that when you sow the wind you reap the whirlwind. One last word of admonition, if you say life is good with LG then come through on your promise. Heed these words by a Jew who lived thousands of years ago. He was running His father’s multinational business and told his staff in one of their strategy sessions…….
LET YOUR YEA BE YEA AND YOUR NAY BE NAY……………………………………………